What’s the Difference Between Abercrombie and Planet Fitness?

By now, you’ve heard plenty about the latest discriminatory nonsense to tumble proudly out of the mouth of Abercrombie & Fitch’s CEO, Mike Jeffries, about who should and shouldn’t wear the brand’s clothing and why they don’t carry what some might call “plus” sizes. The backlash has been sizable, loud, and widespread. To be perfectly honest, my reaction was similar. I vividly remember the last shirt I purchased from A&F when I was still a teenager, an XL t-shirt. I didn’t try it on, confident that an XL at Abercrombie would be similar to a Large at any other store. I remember taking it home, putting it on, and not being able to move my arms. This is how I learned that A&F’s definition of what is “extra large” is bizarre. I had worn many Larges and XLs from many other stores, including their direct competitors, and they had all fit. So, I just assumed that A&F was weird, returned the shirt, and never bought anything there again. Which, looking back on it, was an incredible statement about my body image, even though at that time I hated being overweight. (Still not a huge fan, but it doesn’t seem as devastating as it once did.)

Now that I’ve pondered and pontificated, I’m finding more and more gray areas with how reprehensible CEO Jeffries might actually be. Hear me out.

A few years ago, Planet Fitness ran a successful series of TV commercials about being a judgment-free zone, going so far as to have one of the gym’s employees lead a rather muscular man out the door because he didn’t belong at the gym, essentially for only caring about lifting things up and putting them down. By saying that Planet Fitness is not a place for super-huge dudes who only care about getting huger, they made a statement about being exclusive, about being a place for only a certain type of person. In essence, they were stating that their brand of gyms is only for a certain group of people and those who don’t fit will be judged as such (especially the “Lunk Alarm” they have that goes off when people are hardcore lifting/grunting). When you get right down to the most basic elements, there isn’t a ton of difference between the exclusivity and judgment of Abercrombie and Planet Fitness.

Except, there kind of is a little bit of a difference, depending on where your moral compass points. The message that A&F is sending out to the world is that being skinny and pretty are the most important things in the world, regardless of how you attain those things, and that only those who are those two things should wear their clothes. This is an extremely shallow and downright terrible message to send, especially with the ballooning number of eating disorders and mental health issues running rampant in children. The message that Planet Fitness is putting out there is more positive, albeit still a bit insensitive: Huge dudes at the gym grunting, swearing, and mouth-breathing while they power through their 10^th set of bench presses can come off as anti-social and can create a tense atmosphere; we don’t like that atmosphere in our fitness centers. It’s still somewhat shallow, judging others based on their appearance, how they exercise, and what their health goals are, but its intentions are headed in the right place. But as the saying goes, the road to Hell is paved with good intentions.

So, what is a brand supposed to do? There’s no way for every brand to appeal to everyone of every kind, all the time. Brands have to define themselves, and part of that definition means excluding some people. Even mass-appeal products have their detractors:  Apple, Google, and Coca-Cola all have their share of haters who are never in short supply of Haterade. It’s impossible to win over everyone. However, that doesn’t mean you have to go right out and tell people your brand is not for them, which is exactly what CEO Jeffries just did, and what Planet Fitness did a few years ago. That decision, ultimately, should be left up to the consumer. Brands should have well-defined target audiences and standards to measure all of their communications against in terms of appealing to those audiences. That being said, it isn’t always best to share those standards with the world, or take those standards to their furthest point of execution and actively cut out people who want to give you money in exchange for goods and/or services.

My guess is that some of the brand managers at A&F face-palmed when they read their CEO Jeffries’ interview. At least, I hope they did. There are right ways and wrong ways to convey exclusivity. A&F’s most recent effort was the wrong way. Many are pushing back, as they should. Still, it remains to be seen how much those comments will actively affect the company’s bottom line. My guess is those comments wouldn’t have come out had A&F not been confident that their core target would either agree or wouldn’t care. Not that any of that excuses or justifies what CEO Jeffries said. In the end, he’s still a colossal jerk.

Hip Hop and Writing

There is little doubt in my mind that my years of listening to hip hop, or rap if you will, has made me a substantially better writer. Whether anyone finds that hard to believe, I do not know. Most of the people I've mentioned it to, inside the ad biz and out, seem to make sense out of it. I still find myself intrigued by the notion.

Perhaps it is the remnants of growing up amongst so much criticism of the genre as "not music," or "garbage," but part of me sees it as not an entirely intuitive connection. It could also be that the hip hop I grew up listening to was not always rich with artistically lyrical pontifications. At least not in the same way it is today with lyricists like Yasiin Bey, Black Thought of the Roots, Pharaohe Monch, Blu, Murs, Homeboy Sandman, Talib Kweli, and the like. Thinking back to the gangster rhymes of one Andre Young or Calvin Broadus (a.k.a. Dr. Dre or Snoop Dogg), I sometimes wonder how the genre enriched my vocabulary.

Maybe I'm oversimplifying, or just looking at it wrong. For it seems what hip hop really did for me was to broaden my understanding of the English language and the flexibility it allows. Throughout the history of hip hop, play-on-word analogies and double entendres have been at the forefront of superb lyricism. And I believe this is where hip hop has aided me the most, especially when it comes to describing things (professionally, products or services), in a unique, often-times humorous, way.

Of late, the line constantly at the forefront of my mind is from a Pharoahe Monch song:

I make headlines like corduroy pillows.

Top 5 Beers to Drink while watching a Round 1 NHL Playoff Game 7

By the time the NHL Playoffs roll around, the cold weather is much more intermittent than it used to be. Or at least that was the case before this global warming business got started. 85 degrees the first week in March. We need to get that under control.

Anyway, I thought I'd compile a list of the five best beers to drink while watching Game 7 of the first round of the NHL Playoffs, because I can. Here we go:

5. Goose Island Fleur:  Taking in a match-up of finesse versus finesse? Or perhaps a series between two teams who have absolutely no bad blood against each other? This delicate Belgian-style ale is the way to go. Especially if you could care less who wins. Brewed with hibiscus flowers, this divine concoction tastes more like a sweet, fruity wine than it does a beer. Very light bitterness subtly underscores the sweetness. Don't share this. Unless it's with someone who doesn't mind seeing you naked.

4. Orkney Brewery SkullSplitter:  About to witness a blood-bath? Have these two teams spent more time hammering on each other than trying to score goals? This is the beer for the Game 7 that will end with penalty minutes cresting the three-digit mark. Bold isn't quite the word for SkullSplitter. Smash-mouth, maybe. This wee-heavy style beer packs more than enough flavor to match up with the intensity of this bruiser of a game. It's also potent enough to help you forget that even though your team is great at knocking people out, you still need to score goals to win games.

3. Sixpoint Crisp Lager:  If you're actually invested in the outcome and are a true fan of the craft that goes into the game of hockey, this less-potent offering is for you. It will satisfy all of your flavor centers and keep you clear-minded enough to enjoy the entire game, including overtime. Offered up in cans, this beer has a pleasant, albeit slightly bitter taste experience that carries throughout. You won't be able to put them down like one of the traditional adjunct pretend-lagers mass-produced in cesspools of crap, but the can will give you some cover against any of your non-beer-snob friends who like to call you a sissy for drinking fancy beer. Make sure to bounce an empty off their foreheads after they're team loses.

2. Left Hand Brewing Wake Up Dead Stout:  This is the beer to crack open when there are less than thirty seconds left and your team is down by two. Or when there are two periods left and your team is down by five. Basically what I'm saying is, this beer will do an excellent job of distracting you from how awful your team is playing with it's alcohol content, and will taste wonderful while doing so. Robust, full of flavor and character, just like your favorite NHL tough guy.

1. Molson Canadian:  As far as beers go, it's nothing special. And it doesn't have the awesome twin labels anymore. In fact, they haven't for a few years now. But it's Canadian, it's drinkable, and it's usually not too expensive. All of which make it a great companion if you have to supply your beer-swilling, drunkard friends who have gathered at your house to cheer on the team you're rooting against. Assholes.

Always remember, if you drive when you're drunk, you're a dick and no one likes you. So don't do it, especially after drinking these beers and watching hockey.

A Day Early

It would appear the sadness fairies have arrived ahead of schedule. (Not all fairies bring sunshine and money in exchange for things that fall out of your mouth as you get older). For those who may not know, tomorrow is my Dad's 61st birthday. We'll be celebrating by crying next to his tomb in a mausoleum outside of Pittsburgh, PA.

This week has been a challenge, to say the least.

Perhaps what I've been struggling with most is extrapolating, and trying to accept, that every new great thing that happens in my life won't be witnessed by my Dad. I won't get to share the view, the joy, the happiness, the satisfaction, of anything ever, with him again.

Where it really seems to be sticking is with my recent, albeit moderate, success. I have a full-time job that pays me fairly. I have benefits. I have a girlfriend. I have a really nice apartment. I live in a beautiful part of the country. The shores of Lake Champlain are a mere quarter-mile from where I live. I can look out from that shore and see the Adirondacks. I put in a lot of time and work to get to this point. Through all of the ups and downs, successes and failures, my Dad supported me. He made sacrifices in time, money, and most likely his own success, to do everything he could to get me to this point. And I can't share any of it with him. I have no way to prove to him that it wasn't a waste. This will stick with me for a long time, probably the rest of my life.

The List of Beers The Beer Challenge Facebook App Should Have

in it's "General" list. We won't even go into what categories they should break them up into. (Craft, Micro, Mass-produced, by Country of Origin, by Season, by Style, by Coast, by Brewery instead of by beer name)

Limiting myself to 100 (not easy, trying to avoid seasonals, trying to stick to flagship beers):

1. Yuengling Lager
2. Samuel Adams Boston Lager
3. Blue Moon
4. Left Hand Milk Stout
5. Sierra Nevada Pale Ale
6. Harpoon IPA
7. Blue Point Toasted Lager
8. Newcastle Brown Ale
9. Guinness
10. Shipyard Pumpkinhead Ale
11. Long Trail Pale Ale
12. Magic Hat #9
13. Stone Smoked Porter
14. Rogue Dead Guy Ale
15. New Belgium Fat Tire
16. New Glarus Spotted Cow
17. Hooegarden
18. Sixpoint Sweet Action
19. Brooklyn Brewery Chocolate Stout
20. Oskar Blues Dale's Pale Ale
21. Speakeasy Payback Porter
22. Lake Placid Ubu Ale
23. Smuttynose Old Brown Dog
24. Red Hook ESB
25. Abita Turbo Dog (or Amber)
26. Widmer Brothers Hefeweizen
27. Anchor Steam Ale
28. Pretty Things Jack D'or
29. Goose Island IPA (or Honker Ale)
30. Coney Island Lager
31. Lakefront Eastside Dark
32. Saranac Black Forest
33. Yuengling Black & Tan
34. (JW) Dundee Honey Brown
35. Southern Tier Pumking
36. Dogfish Head Indian Brown Ale
37. Dogfish Head 60 Minute IPA
38. Otter Creek Alpine Black IPA
39. Victory Golden Monkey
40. Breckenridge Vanilla Porter
41. Ommegang Rare Vos
42. Wolaver's IPA
43. Peak Organic Espresso Amber Ale
44. Speakeasy Payback Porter
45. Samuel Smith's Oatmeal Stout
46. Brooklyn Brewery Local #1
47. Lancaster Amish Four Grain Pale Ale
48. Cisco Whale's Tail Pale Ale
49. Ayinger Oktoberfest-Marzen
50. Hill Farmstead Edward (or anything, really)
51. Captain Lawrence Liquid Gold
52. Troegs Java Head Oatmeal Stout
53. Tommyknocker Butt Head bock
54. Flying Dog Gonzo Imperial Porter
55. Cigar City Maduro Oatmeal Brown
56. Sprecher Black Bavarian Lager
57. Evil Twin (anything)
58. Great Divide Smoked Baltic Porter
59. Smuttynose Robust Porter
60. Founders Porter
61. Belhaven Scottish Ale
62. Southern Tier IPA
63. Lindemans (anything)
64. Brooklyn Brewery Brooklyn Lager
65. Samuel Adams Light (best "light" beer I've ever had)
66. Old Speckled Hen
67. Boddington's
68. Atwater Block Java Porter
69. Riverhorse Tripel
70. Fort Collins Retro Red
71. Ballast Point Sculpin IPA
72. 21st Amendment Monk's Blood
73. Ithaca Apricot Wheat
74. Keegan Ale's Mother's Milk Stout
75. Fuller's London Porter (or any other Fuller's, really)
76. Geary's Pale Ale
77. North Coast Old Rasputin Imperial Russian Stout
78. Bass Pale Ale
79. Founders Red Rye Pale Ale
80. Stone Ruination IPA
81. Goose Island Matilda (or Sophie or Fleur)
82. Ommegang Hennepin
83. Rogue Double Chocolate Stout
84. Southerntier Choklat
85. Dogfish Head Miles Davis' Bitches Brew
86. Hobgoblin
87. Founders Centennial IPA
88. Chimay (anything)
89. Boulder Beer Killer Penguin
90. Troegs Dreamweaver
91. Victory Yakima Glory
92. Maine Beer Company Mean Old Tom
93. Clown Shoes Hoppy Feet
94. Dieu du Ciel! Rigor Mortis (or, my favorite Rosee d'hibiscus)
95. Abita Purple Haze
96. Young's Double Chocolate Stout
97. Moylan's Stout
98. Allagash Black
99. Mikeller Mt. Hood IPA (or really anything by Mikeller)
100. Greg's Poop Brown Ale

The amazing thing is, everyone can come up with their own list these days. I left off some of my personal favorites because they local to NYC, update NY, NH, the west coast, the midwest, or Vermont. I will take any and all suggestions.

How many of these have you had?

Same Letter, Different Senator

I will be responding to her as well. Senator Shaheen rocks my socks. And she still sends my brother a Christmas card from when he volunteered for her campaign for Governor of NH.

Dear Greg,

Thank you for contacting my office with your concerns about the Environmental Protection Agency's (EPA) authority to regulate harmful pollutants. I appreciate hearing from you about this important issue.

The Clean Air Act has been one of the greatest public health successes we have ever had in this country. In 1970, Republicans and Democrats came together to pass this landmark legislation to address air pollution that was leading to countless deaths and lifetimes spent battling chronic illness such as asthma and emphysema.

Since we passed the Clean Air Act of 1970, we have dramatically reduced emissions of dozens of pollutants. We have improved air quality and the public health. The EPA estimates that in 2010 alone the Clean Air Act prevented 1.7 million asthma attacks, 130,000 heart attacks, and 86,000 emergency room visits. This is particularly important to New England since we suffer the effects of pollution from coal-fired power plants in the Midwest. In fact, New Hampshire has one of the highest rates of childhood asthma in the country.

Under the Clean Air Act, we have been able to grow our economy. Our gross domestic product has more than tripled since 1970, and the average household income has grown more than 45%. We know that we can protect public health, save our environment, and grow our economy. We saw this happen in New Hampshire when in 2001 we passed the first legislation in the country to deal with four major pollutants. We can protect public health without unfairly burdening small businesses.

In the Senate, I oppose efforts to undercut the EPA's ability to regulate carbon pollution under the Clean Air Act. In addition to hurting public health, hindering EPA's ability to do its work would undermine the transition to a clean energy economy that American industry needs to remain competitive.

I will continue to work with my colleagues in a bipartisan manner to develop an energy policy that drives innovation in American-made energy technologies and energy efficiency. While I believe Congress is best suited to draft cost-effective, flexible clean energy policies, I also believe that the EPA must work to create certainty for businesses and protect families from harmful pollution.

Thank you again for sharing your thoughts with me and please do not hesitate to contact my office with any future concerns.

Sincerely,

Jeanne Shaheen
United States Senator

We Need to Convince Them...

it's a good idea; it's good for them; it's the right thing to do; it's in their best interest; it will benefit them; it's a healthy option; it's a great substitute; it's a quality "something."

Here's a radical notion: Rather than having to convince someone that something is a good thing for them when it is not, why not just do something that is good for them?

So much time has been spent convincing people that things that in reality are bad will be good for them. We see it in business. We see it in politics. We see in our every day lives when we try to buy something expensive or healthy. And so often, we're duped.

Imagine if we actually just did what was good for everybody. Or most people. Or, at the very least, the people it will affect the most. The world would look a lot different. Perhaps, instead of arguments over paying your fair share of taxes, we'd be concerned about paying the right amount to do the most good for the nation as a whole. Or, gasp, the world. A radical departure, because it would require a significant number of people to focus on issues outside of their own realities.

I am oversimplifying. But in that regard, it's not a complicated issue. It has nothing to do with politics or religion, or even ideologies. It has to do with human decency. Which, with increasing frequency, we are proving we have little of. If that first thought is, "How will this benefit the most people?" instead of "What will this do for me?" we might be able to move forward a little faster and solve problems a little sooner.

But that would be a monumental shift. A man can hope, though.

Apocalyptic Mayans

While I'm sure the numbers aren't enormous, I am still amused by the thought that tens, or maybe even hundreds of thousands of people worldwide have stockpiled supplies in anticipation for an "end-of-the-world" scenario, as if their survival during the initial disaster part is guaranteed.

No real-world analogies or smarmy quips. The thought just made me chuckle.

Responsible Citizen

Through one of the online petition websites, I recently sent a letter to representatives in government regarding energy policy. I received the letter pasted below from Senator Kelly Ayotte, Republican from NH.

Thank you for your comments regarding our nation's environmental policy. I appreciate hearing from you.

Common sense environmental protection preserves New Hampshire's quality of life as well as the state's economic competitiveness. I am proud of my strong record of environmental protection from my time as Attorney General, and as your Senator, I will act to preserve New Hampshire's environment while strengthening our economy.

We can reduce greenhouse gas emissions and make our environment cleaner without destroying America's global competitiveness. Passing a massive cap-and-trade bill that would increase taxes, raise energy costs, and redistribute wealth - all without impacting the overall level of global greenhouse gases - is the wrong approach. Worse still is the Environmental Protection Agency's (EPA) unprecedented decision to unilaterally impose greenhouse gas regulations under the Clean Air Act without congressional approval. Economy-wide energy regulations should not be enacted by unelected agency officials. Congress should determine our nation's environmental policy. That is why, on April 6, 2011, I supported Senate Amendment (S.A.) 183 to a small business bill that would have prohibited the EPA from implementing a national energy tax through regulations. Unfortunately, due to a required 60-vote threshold, the amendment failed by a vote of 50-50.

To be certain, our nation must reduce our dependence on fossil fuel. This is not just an economic and environmental imperative but also a national security and sovereignty concern. While we transition to renewable and alternative sources of energy, our nation must be able to use our vast natural resources that are available here at home by expanding domestic oil exploration and increasing national gas production in ways that are environmentally responsible.

We must also foster a pro-business environment to develop new, clean energy technologies and conservation initiatives that will help reduce pollution and create jobs. We should encourage the development of all renewable, clean, and sustainable energy sources, such as wind, solar, hydropower, geothermal, and biomass.

Again, thank you for taking the time to contact me regarding this issue. As your Senator, it is important for me to hear from you regarding the issues affecting New Hampshire and our nation. Please do not hesitate to contact me if I may be of further assistance.

I responded with the following.

Dear Senator Ayotte,

I appreciate you taking the time to respond. However, it is clear that we disagree on this issue. The fact of the matter is that the US has a depleted source of domestic oil, down to about 3% of the world's known reserves. While Middle Eastern countries boast about INCREASING reserves, their claims cannot be proven as access to these reserves is restricted, and the overall supply of fossil fuels is diminishing worldwide. To boot, any increase in drilling domestically would take at least 10-15 years to have any sort of effect on the prices of a barrel of oil. The best domestic energy policy available is a drastic shift toward renewable energy. Therefore, I support the EPAs restriction on CO2 emissions.

It is clear that the partisan political ideologies in Congress are blinding its members to the REAL changes taking place with our climate. While some of these changes can be attributed to the natural ebb and flow of our planet, it is a depressing state of affairs when the short-term interests of businesses whose long-term viability relies on the health and well-being of the earth and its inhabitants, takes precedent over the very real dangers our activities are creating. As is clearly evident by your policy decisions, and those of your cohorts, this is what is going on in Congress today.

I also find your comments regarding the redistribution of wealth in relation to emission restrictions spurious at best. If you were actually concerned about upward wealth redistribution, you would not support the extension of the Bush tax cuts. I believe you are using wealth redistribution claims as a wash to cloud the real issues at stake.

While it is imperative to maintain a pro-business mind set, it is this business-first mentality that has created the dire situations we find ourselves in, especially in regard to available resources, where we get them from, how we get them, and any security issues that stem from these circumstances. While government cannot exist without business, it is increasingly clear that business can exist without government. However, such a situation is extremely dangerous to the well-being to the citizenry. As such, governments now find themselves at the beck and call of the business world. How else could something such as Citizens United end up a reality in America? Corporations do not bleed. They are not birthed from a woman. They do not feel pain when things are going poorly; they do not rejoice when things are going well. They lack morality, and while they are run by human beings, our history as humans proves that as a cohesive unit working toward a goal, we cannot be trusted to always do what is right. However, I digress.

I do sincerely hope that you reconsider your stance on this nation's energy policy, for the sake of your career as a politician and for the sake of those you represent.

Best of luck to you.

Greg Marchilena

Proud, I am.

Advice I gave to a recent Syracuse Alum. (That's where I went to school)

You have some pretty boss work on your website. It's also easy to use. Both are very important.

One of the things that helped me was to continually work on new projects for my portfolio. Sometimes it can be frustrating. You can feel like you're putting in all this time and effort into things that aren't real just to impress people who have no idea who you are. But by doing so, you're constantly becoming better, more agile, more thoughtful, and most importantly, more mature.

Finding work in this business is not always easy. People will be able to tell if you don't have the drive or the devotion, or if you have no problem being complacent. Sometimes, it isn't always about pure skill or experience, but the hunger you have to constantly be better.

That being said, cast a wide net. Not everyone is going to understand you or your work. And that's okay. But don't set your sights on only the big shops or the little shops. Think of bad ass campaigns you like, national or local, and try to get in to those places for an interview. I applied to an agency in Colorado once based on local ads created for the craft brewer Breckenridge. I've never even been to Colorado, but those ads are amazing and I wanted to be a part of them.

I think most importantly, love your work, but also hate your work. When you go into an interview or a sit-down with someone to go over your work, you have to be proud of every single piece that's in there. Not pretend to be, but actually be. When sharing it with others, you have to be 100% confident about what you're showing. And then as soon as all of that is done and it's just you and your work, you have to almost hate it so that you won't be afraid to make it better or to take the criticisms others have into consideration. And again, always be thinking of new, bitchin' work to do. Doesn't even have to be advertising. Creative types these days love to see how you think and problem-solve outside of the world of advertising. If you have drawings, stories, poems, or a blog that you're okay with sharing, do it.

If you haven't figured it out yet, I'm a copywriter. And as such, I apologize for the lengthy response. Hope it is helpful. Best of luck to you in NYC. Take care,

Can I Win an Election on $50,000?

Originally, I wondered whether a person could win an election to the federal government with no money; do it completely using free media, volunteers and time. The more I thought about how I'd go about that, I realized that it costs money to print posters and have an Internet connection, (although Internet is free at libraries and such, sometimes). Where did $50,000 come from? I don't know. It is a completely arbitrary number, probably too high even for most Americans to come up with. That being said, the 3/4 of a million that has become customary to win a seat in the House of Representatives, $50,000 doesn't seem like so much. So, I am now curious. Could I win an election in the next election cycle (or perhaps the one after it) on the backs of social media, some nifty volunteers and a (relatively) small chunk of change? Do I have the right ideas? Could I be the right brand of politician people in my potential constituency would want to support? I have no idea. But I think it would be a whole hell of a lot of fun to try.

I have no idea where I'll get the money or the volunteers. That being said, I am not light on opinion, hilarity and oversimplifications. In fact, I even have a couple slogans already. Although, I'm torn between which is better. Maybe I'll let you decide.

1. Candidate Greg: Always angry about something.

2. Candidate Greg: I'll start taking this seriously as soon as everyone else does.

Your thoughts?

Heroes.

I recently applied to a position in which, on the the application, it asked who my hero was, with the caveat that I was not allowed to choose a relative. Aside from being a bit of a cop-out on their part, it made me realize a few things, the major one being that I have no one person that I idolize above all others. There are many an amazing person in the history of the world who certainly deserve a great deal of admiration for the things that they have done, whether they have been retroactively made in to a villain by historical reconstruction or were always controversial, and thus never universally accepted. As such, I was left with a bit of a sticking point. In fact, of all the questions on the application, it was the one I took the longest time to answer.

(The list below is not my full list, just the ones who came to mind when I started writing this post. My full list is most likely much longer.)

Certainly I am a fan of the work of Martin Luther King, Jr. Sure, there are many things he may have done wrong. Some allege he was an adulterer. That may be true, but looking at the pros and cons of the man, I can't necessarily say that, if such a claim is true, it comes to close to tarnishing his record of positive contributions to this world.

I also admire Malcolm X, for his work, his ability to state the truth (or what he perceived to be the truth) regardless of how it made people feel, and his ability to continue to learn from those around him and ultimately change his views of the world and the people in it. Many do not know of the transformation he underwent in terms of his "militancy" in the year or two leading up to his untimely death. It is sometimes noted that as Malcolm X was softening his position, Martin Luther King, Jr. was hardening his. Given enough time, the two opposite poles of the Civil Rights Movement may have met somewhere in the middle. That would have been a force to be reckoned with.

My grandfather, a WWII veteran who was shot down over Italy, would've been another choice. The fact that he survived and was able to make it back to Allied territory via the Italian Resistance, without knowing a word of Italian, is enough of a reason to admire someone. However, he always carried about him an unflappable stoicism (for the short time that I knew him), a calm demeanor, an even keel if you will. I'm sure he had his moments of undisciplined emotion, but I never saw them. For the seven years I knew him, I knew a warm smile, cigar smoke, whiskers and a physically intimidating softy.

While we're at it, my mom. Despite not being perfect, she managed to raise (with my dad) two functional, increasingly successful, independent children with pragmatic, realistic views of the world. It was her goal to instill many values in us: respect for women; the value of intelligence; common decency; civility; pride; compassion and consideration for others; the drive to do whatever it takes to do whatever it is that makes us happy; and the knowledge that if you do what it is that makes you happy, the money will follow. I would probably be a faceless MBA grad working at a job I hate because it paid well had it not been for those lessons.

John Brown. How can I possibly put down John Brown, who was tried and executed for treasonous acts, as my hero? The fact of the matter is, we have very little in common, even outside of the fact that he's dead and I'm not. His logic for the abolition of slavery came from a deeply religious Christian context. To him, slavery was the of the utmost injustice one man could force upon another, and that the murder of slave owners, and in fact, an armed revolution in the southern part of the United States, would be justified in the eyes of God to eliminate the travesty of humans as property. I agree with him, in a sense, that one could only be a slave owner and a Christian with a serious use of cognitive dissonance or a bizarre interpretation of the Christian faith. Or, I suppose, the belief that skin color also determines the level of humanity. That being said, Brown's overarching views are not entirely without merit and it is no surprise a man so deeply committed to his beliefs in Christianity would extend that zealotry to an injustice he viewed with vehement contempt. Would I have taken up arms with him? I don't know. I'll honestly never know. But I can say that I would've at least heard him out.

I ultimately went with Malcolm X, for his ability to keep an open mind even when his convictions were so strong. I have no idea how that was received, and I don't care. I just think it is really unfair for someone to use the caveat, "No relatives." I think it should have read, "if you choose a relative, explain why you picked that person."

I suppose I'll keep that in mind when it becomes my job to hire people.

Good Read

Beer Industry Looks to Rebuild "Brand Beer'

Some quick thoughts: I find it interesting how disillusioned big-brand brewers still are about the craft beer market. Apparently, the perception that only "rich people" buy craft beer is still prevalent among the upper echelons of these companies. I may be an outlier (I don't think I am), in that I am nowhere near "rich" and am still willing to pay a premium for a quality, flavorful craft beer.

I don't know much about spirits and wine taking market share away from big beer brands, but I have been loosely following the market share that craft beer is taking from big beer brands. And it should be. Could the advertising be to blame for big brand sales declines? Perhaps. Instead, I think it's capitalism at work: People who can afford to buy beer don't want to spend it on a crappy product.

That being said, I think the author of the article also makes an interesting point in terms of blue collar workers who are not working. While they are often ignored in the advertising and messaging, they tend to be the ones drinking big-brand beer. If they're out of work with no expendable income, they're probably going to buy food instead.

Where Are My Damn Rewards Points?

Rewards points, customer appreciation programs, frequent shopper alliances, or whatever a business may call it, is something that I clamor for as both a consumer and an advertising professional. To me, there is no greater joy than being rewarded for my loyalty (and expenditures). Well, that is a complete and utter lie. There are plenty of greater joys. However, in the tiny world of my shopping habits, being rewarded with coupons, discounts and exclusive sales are the creme de la creme of motivators for me to purchase your shit.

So, when I encounter a place of business in which repeat-shopping is both frequent and extremely important, I am taken aback a bit, nay, maybe even offended, that I cannot earn something for my loyalty. Perhaps these businesses are more of the ilk that our business relationship is more like a friendship, in which I shouldn't expect to be compensated for my loyalty and patronage the same way a true friend should not expect anything in return for helping out a friend. Unfortunately, that's not how I see things. As such, I am at a loss for words why these companies do not employ some type of compensation for me spending my money on their goods. The benefits, from my standpoint, always seem to outweigh the administrative costs.

I am much more likely to shop exclusively, or almost exclusively, with a store that has a loyalty/rewards program. I am handing over to you, not only my personal data (name, address, phone number, age, sex, etc.), but also doing your market research for you. For you see, your rewards program, if sophisticated enough, will track every purchase I make and compare them with each other. You'll learn that for a savings of $0.15, I will switch brands of croutons (meaning I have low brand loyalty). I will jump brands of Organic Milk for even the slightest of reductions in price. I will buy the generic/private label brands of almost everything, except breakfast cereal. Not only can you sell my personal demographic information to the highest bidder, you can sell extremely specific information about my purchasing habits that can be aggregated into studies about my particular set of demographics. The skilled would even be able to determine other factors, like psychographics. And I am a willing participant, because I get to save those $0.15 on croutons.

With all of this in mind, for the life of me I cannot figure out why Trader Joe's and Whole Foods don't have customer loyalty programs. Perhaps people are loyal enough, the stores just don't need them.

The Social Fabric of Beer

Throughout the ages, beer has been regaled as proof that God exists and loves man, a motivator for social change, a driving force behind agriculture/technological advancement, a means for those of different socioeconomic classes to mingle, etc. And these are all, to some extent, undoubtedly true.

For me, personally, beer, as a weaver of social fabrics, was more of the final embroidery on a once-shredded relationship that in the last nine years became one of the most important relationships in my short life. Beer, the emerging and now prevalent craftsmanship, and the culture that encompasses it, become a vast common ground for my father and I to share ideas, knowledge and thoughts on anything from taste, similarities to the appreciation of wine, the politics of the industry, and so on. It became a topic whose breadth covered myriad number of finer points that brought out the best of our collective intellect, varied and often disagreeing as they may have been. He became a fan and avid follower of my pontifications on the different beers I tasted, and would often discuss his thoughts on my articles. When I stopped writing about beer as a hobby a few years ago, he would constantly pepper me with inquiries as to why I hadn't started doing it on my own.

"If you keep doing it and keep putting your name out there, someone will notice. And then maybe you can get paid to do it."

I always thought he pushed so hard because, as a writer, I've had (and am having) my share of struggles financially. I always knew he wanted me to be able to do what I enjoyed doing because, for so many years, he had not had that option. I figured his eagerness had more to do with my success, my future and my personal satisfaction with my work (and maybe because I fancy myself a decent writer and he enjoyed reading my articles). After he passed away, a new facet emerged that I had not really considered, that may have played a bigger role than all of the aforementioned, combined: He was proud of me. He was proud because I was doing what I thoroughly enjoyed. He was proud because I wasn't giving up or giving in. He was proud that I was doing something that he would've loved to do, as well.

For my father and I, beer was a conversation piece much the way sports, politics or personal money management were conversational pieces. And while we both enjoyed in-depth, thought-provoking discussions in which we agreed just as often as we disagreed, these topics were mere vehicles for a much more substantial, veiled topic we were really discussing. Behind the structured arguments tinged with passion about this idea or that were overtures of a fabric sewn through almost a decade of recovery from a tattered, unstable relationship; a peace-offering or, perhaps, an expression of our inherit familial connection that I had forsaken for so long as a rebellious adolescent. Beer was a thread for us to tell each other how we felt, that we were proud, that we cared, that we were and always had been interested in the life and well-being of the other.

I often find myself angry in retrospect of the years I wasted making him the enemy, especially in the face of all that I would give to get him back. But the anger often fades quickly, knowing that I can't change the past and that everything we said and did together and for each other more than made up for lost time. Still, I'm bereft to fault myself for wishing I had more.

A little story for you today.

This summer passed (yes, it has passed), I hired a dog trainer to help me get a better handle on my adorable, rambunctious pit bull. During one of my training sessions with said trainer, he told me a brief little story about a conversation he had with one of his clients.

The client, perhaps a bit flabbergasted about how much the trainer was charging, said something along the lines of "I can't believe I had to hire someone to help me with my dog." Either that, or the client had asked a friend who had successfully trained his dog to help and the guy couldn't handle the dog.

The trainer's response stuck with me.

Trainer: Can you come by this weekend to take a look at my water heater? It's broken.

Dog Owner: Why would I do that? I'm not a plumber.

Trainer: Exactly.

He then went on to explain to me:

I am a professional. I am an expert. My area of expertise is training a dog. Why would you ask a friend who is not an expert to do an expert's job? I wouldn't ask somebody who, what is it you do? (I'm a writer) Yeah, I wouldn't ask you to come take a look at my pipes if they backed up. That's not your expertise. So why would you have someone who is not an expert come do something they don't know how to do? If my pipes break, I call a plumber. And I pay that plumber for his skill, his knowledge. Yeah, I'm not the cheapest trainer out there. But I've been doing this for a long time, and that acquired knowledge and experience of dealing with these dogs is what you pay for.

I am going to use that explanation for the rest of my life.

Manhattan Mini Storage

For anyone who lives outside of New York City and hasn't visited in the last few years, there is a storage space company known as Manhattan Mini Storage that runs an out-of-home campaign (subway, building facades, billboards, etc.) with increasingly clever headlines and an extremely simple layout. I recall a few years ago, when I first noticed the ads, I was less than impressed. Lame visuals of people in their apartments with lamer headlines. All of that has changed.

The advertising's progression has been slow. It began with the following:

To this:

And now this:

In my opinion, this is a rather drastic improvement over the last few years, from typical and expected (and perhaps a rip of McDonald's "dollar menu-aires" campaign) to rather relevant and funny to a much more targeted audience. At the moment, I don't need to store any of my possessions, but if and when I do, they will be the first one I check out. Which is the whole point of this kind of messaging, which I think works for them. I haven't checked the data regarding increases in rentals, but they seem to be continually increasing their presence, which leads me to believe they are doing well for themselves. And as a copywriter, I would love to be able to write this kind of stuff on a regular basis. So kudos to them for having the fortitude to be a bit edgy and provocative, but also for doing it well.

The Decency of Human.

It is with great pleasure and cynicism that I spend most of my diatribes about my fellow humans completely eviscerating their morality, decency and general good-ness. If asked, I respond with childish eagerness at how much I despise the great majority of mankind for their blissful ignorance, selfishness, lack of consideration, dishonesty, stupidity, apathy, and the like. I will dive deep into the depths of my perspicacity to summon up words rarely uttered to express my distaste for those willing to mindlessly indulge in feature-length blockbuster pieces of garbage and reality TV about slightly-above-retarded people who have completely lost touch with reality. And I do it with a sly smile, because as a cynic, I do not have to look far to inundate anyone who tries to challenge my perception of western society.

And then, something extraordinary happens. And from the morass of the bullshit and misery in the vast forests of indecent, unremarkable people emerges these beautiful individuals that seem to get lost in the haze of the everyday. They come forth bearing nothing but good-will, empathy and, for a lack of a better word, love, in its many forms. They come from all of the different parts of your life, past and present. Some are expected, but many arrive out of the blue to stand by your side and lend their hearts and their support. They are all special people. And they all make a hardened skeptic like myself question my convictions about the depravity and decay of our civilization.

Thank you, from the depths of my being, to all of those who have come out to offer their love and support through this difficult time in mine and my family's lives.

The Waiting Game

I've never much been the patient type.

Somehow in my mind, I've confused the somewhat famous Oscar Wilde quote "Patriotism is a virtue of the wicked," with "Patience is a virtue of the wicked." It doesn't make sense, except when I am impatiently waiting.

I like to claim that I'm impatient because I am the younger of two children, but the fact of the matter is that the two are completely unrelated. There is nothing in my younger-brother-childhood that explains my impatience for things, nor the fact that the more important something is, the more impatient I become.

And when it is a decision I am waiting for from someone else, receiving the decision as quickly as possible becomes more important, even if it is not the one I was hoping for, than getting the decision I was hoping for over a longer period of waiting. The need to know outranks the hope for the best possible outcome. In the grand scheme of things, it is a miniscule issue, especially since I am so aware of it.

Still, the waiting game is one that I have sparsely enjoyed playing.

Me and My Big Mouth.

The parents who raise their child to place such a high priority on his integrity, to always stand up when he knows he is right, to never lay down and take it when someone is being unfair or abusive, to be honest and speak his mind, do not know what kind of monster they may end up creating.

That child ended up being me. And while I certainly have a filter that could keep me from spouting off my honest thoughts, I choose to ignore it most of the time. Other people tend to not like this.

I am proud and more than happy that my parents focused so hard on teaching me all of these important principles. Never in my life have I ever wished I didn't have the ability to be honest, straightforward and able to speak my mind. That being said, many, many people are not ready to hear it (or read it). And this has landed me in trouble.

In high school, it almost got me fired on several occasions. I can recall getting in to full-blown arguments with the people who ran the retail store I worked in. In one specific situation, I told my manager that I had no respect for her, or any one else, as my boss. (To be fair, she was a terrible boss, and the store manager was fired a few months later) Luckily, I suppose, I was well-liked by some of my other superiors and rather adept at my job. Perhaps some of that spitfire can be attributed to being a teenager. Still, my ability to not just lie down and take it and speak my mind persevered.

The stakes are different now, it would seem. I'm not longer schlepping at a part-time, just-above-minimum-wage retail job that won't end up being my career anymore. This is the real-deal. And even so, my blunt honesty may once again be getting me in to trouble. I've learned, through experience and lecture, to be more vigilant in keeping my mouth shut in the professional world. And I am getting better. But often I wonder how long it will be before I slip up. Because even though it might be true, it doesn't mean it's the right thing to say.