Throughout the ages, beer has been regaled as proof that God exists and loves man, a motivator for social change, a driving force behind agriculture/technological advancement, a means for those of different socioeconomic classes to mingle, etc. And these are all, to some extent, undoubtedly true.
For me, personally, beer, as a weaver of social fabrics, was more of the final embroidery on a once-shredded relationship that in the last nine years became one of the most important relationships in my short life. Beer, the emerging and now prevalent craftsmanship, and the culture that encompasses it, become a vast common ground for my father and I to share ideas, knowledge and thoughts on anything from taste, similarities to the appreciation of wine, the politics of the industry, and so on. It became a topic whose breadth covered myriad number of finer points that brought out the best of our collective intellect, varied and often disagreeing as they may have been. He became a fan and avid follower of my
pontifications on the different beers I tasted, and would often discuss his thoughts on my articles. When I stopped writing about beer as a hobby a few years ago, he would constantly pepper me with inquiries as to why I hadn't started doing it on my own.
"If you keep doing it and keep putting your name out there, someone will notice. And then maybe you can get paid to do it."
I always thought he pushed so hard because, as a writer, I've had (and am having) my share of struggles financially. I always knew he wanted me to be able to do what I enjoyed doing because, for so many years, he had not had that option. I figured his eagerness had more to do with my success, my future and my personal satisfaction with my work (and maybe because I fancy myself a decent writer and he enjoyed reading my articles). After he passed away, a new facet emerged that I had not really considered, that may have played a bigger role than all of the aforementioned, combined: He was proud of me. He was proud because I was doing what I thoroughly enjoyed. He was proud because I wasn't giving up or giving in. He was proud that I was doing something that he would've loved to do, as well.
For my father and I, beer was a conversation piece much the way sports, politics or personal money management were conversational pieces. And while we both enjoyed in-depth, thought-provoking discussions in which we agreed just as often as we disagreed, these topics were mere vehicles for a much more substantial, veiled topic we were really discussing. Behind the structured arguments tinged with passion about this idea or that were overtures of a fabric sewn through almost a decade of recovery from a tattered, unstable relationship; a peace-offering or, perhaps, an expression of our inherit familial connection that I had forsaken for so long as a rebellious adolescent. Beer was a thread for us to tell each other how we felt, that we were proud, that we cared, that we were and always had been interested in the life and well-being of the other.
I often find myself angry in retrospect of the years I wasted making him the enemy, especially in the face of all that I would give to get him back. But the anger often fades quickly, knowing that I can't change the past and that everything we said and did together and for each other more than made up for lost time. Still, I'm bereft to fault myself for wishing I had more.