A blog about beer and/or advertising.

Let's call it "beervertising" for short.

That's not really all that short, but it's better than beer and/or advertising.

Monday, May 20, 2013

What’s the Difference Between Abercrombie and Planet Fitness?



By now, you’ve heard plenty about the latest discriminatory nonsense to tumble proudly out of the mouth of Abercrombie & Fitch’s CEO, Mike Jeffries, about who should and shouldn’t wear the brand’s clothing and why they don’t carry what some might call “plus” sizes. The backlash has been sizable, loud, and widespread. To be perfectly honest, my reaction was similar. I vividly remember the last shirt I purchased from A&F when I was still a teenager, an XL t-shirt. I didn’t try it on, confident that an XL at Abercrombie would be similar to a Large at any other store. I remember taking it home, putting it on, and not being able to move my arms. This is how I learned that A&F’s definition of what is “extra large” is bizarre. I had worn many Larges and XLs from many other stores, including their direct competitors, and they had all fit. So, I just assumed that A&F was weird, returned the shirt, and never bought anything there again. Which, looking back on it, was an incredible statement about my body image, even though at that time I hated being overweight. (Still not a huge fan, but it doesn’t seem as devastating as it once did.)
Now that I’ve pondered and pontificated, I’m finding more and more gray areas with how reprehensible CEO Jeffries might actually be. Hear me out.
A few years ago, Planet Fitness ran a successful series of TV commercials about being a judgment-free zone, going so far as to have one of the gym’s employees lead a rather muscular man out the door because he didn’t belong at the gym, essentially for only caring about lifting things up and putting them down. By saying that Planet Fitness is not a place for super-huge dudes who only care about getting huger, they made a statement about being exclusive, about being a place for only a certain type of person. In essence, they were stating that their brand of gyms is only for a certain group of people and those who don’t fit will be judged as such (especially the “Lunk Alarm” they have that goes off when people are hardcore lifting/grunting). When you get right down to the most basic elements, there isn’t a ton of difference between the exclusivity and judgment of Abercrombie and Planet Fitness.
Except, there kind of is a little bit of a difference, depending on where your moral compass points. The message that A&F is sending out to the world is that being skinny and pretty are the most important things in the world, regardless of how you attain those things, and that only those who are those two things should wear their clothes. This is an extremely shallow and downright terrible message to send, especially with the ballooning number of eating disorders and mental health issues running rampant in children. The message that Planet Fitness is putting out there is more positive, albeit still a bit insensitive: Huge dudes at the gym grunting, swearing, and mouth-breathing while they power through their 10th set of bench presses can come off as anti-social and can create a tense atmosphere; we don’t like that atmosphere in our fitness centers. It’s still somewhat shallow, judging others based on their appearance, how they exercise, and what their health goals are, but its intentions are headed in the right place. But as the saying goes, the road to Hell is paved with good intentions.
So, what is a brand supposed to do? There’s no way for every brand to appeal to everyone of every kind, all the time. Brands have to define themselves, and part of that definition means excluding some people. Even mass-appeal products have their detractors:  Apple, Google, and Coca-Cola all have their share of haters who are never in short supply of Haterade. It’s impossible to win over everyone. However, that doesn’t mean you have to go right out and tell people your brand is not for them, which is exactly what CEO Jeffries just did, and what Planet Fitness did a few years ago. That decision, ultimately, should be left up to the consumer. Brands should have well-defined target audiences and standards to measure all of their communications against in terms of appealing to those audiences. That being said, it isn’t always best to share those standards with the world, or take those standards to their furthest point of execution and actively cut out people who want to give you money in exchange for goods and/or services.
My guess is that some of the brand managers at A&F face-palmed when they read their CEO Jeffries’ interview. At least, I hope they did. There are right ways and wrong ways to convey exclusivity. A&F’s most recent effort was the wrong way. Many are pushing back, as they should. Still, it remains to be seen how much those comments will actively affect the company’s bottom line. My guess is those comments wouldn’t have come out had A&F not been confident that their core target would either agree or wouldn’t care. Not that any of that excuses or justifies what CEO Jeffries said. In the end, he’s still a colossal jerk.

Friday, June 1, 2012

Hip Hop and Writing

There is little doubt in my mind that my years of listening to hip hop, or rap if you will, has made me a substantially better writer. Whether anyone finds that hard to believe, I do not know. Most of the people I've mentioned it to, inside the ad biz and out, seem to make sense out of it. I still find myself intrigued by the notion.

Perhaps it is the remnants of growing up amongst so much criticism of the genre as "not music," or "garbage," but part of me sees it as not an entirely intuitive connection. It could also be that the hip hop I grew up listening to was not always rich with artistically lyrical pontifications. At least not in the same way it is today with lyricists like Yasiin Bey, Black Thought of the Roots, Pharaohe Monch, Blu, Murs, Homeboy Sandman, Talib Kweli, and the like. Thinking back to the gangster rhymes of one Andre Young or Calvin Broadus (a.k.a. Dr. Dre or Snoop Dogg), I sometimes wonder how the genre enriched my vocabulary.

Maybe I'm oversimplifying, or just looking at it wrong. For it seems what hip hop really did for me was to broaden my understanding of the English language and the flexibility it allows. Throughout the history of hip hop, play-on-word analogies and double entendres have been at the forefront of superb lyricism. And I believe this is where hip hop has aided me the most, especially when it comes to describing things (professionally, products or services), in a unique, often-times humorous, way.

Of late, the line constantly at the forefront of my mind is from a Pharoahe Monch song:

I make headlines like corduroy pillows.

Wednesday, April 25, 2012

Top 5 Beers to Drink while watching a Round 1 NHL Playoff Game 7

By the time the NHL Playoffs roll around, the cold weather is much more intermittent than it used to be. Or at least that was the case before this global warming business got started. 85 degrees the first week in March. We need to get that under control.

Anyway, I thought I'd compile a list of the five best beers to drink while watching Game 7 of the first round of the NHL Playoffs, because I can. Here we go:

5. Goose Island Fleur:  Taking in a match-up of finesse versus finesse? Or perhaps a series between two teams who have absolutely no bad blood against each other? This delicate Belgian-style ale is the way to go. Especially if you could care less who wins. Brewed with hibiscus flowers, this divine concoction tastes more like a sweet, fruity wine than it does a beer. Very light bitterness subtly underscores the sweetness. Don't share this. Unless it's with someone who doesn't mind seeing you naked.

4. Orkney Brewery SkullSplitter:  About to witness a blood-bath? Have these two teams spent more time hammering on each other than trying to score goals? This is the beer for the Game 7 that will end with penalty minutes cresting the three-digit mark. Bold isn't quite the word for SkullSplitter. Smash-mouth, maybe. This wee-heavy style beer packs more than enough flavor to match up with the intensity of this bruiser of a game. It's also potent enough to help you forget that even though your team is great at knocking people out, you still need to score goals to win games.

3. Sixpoint Crisp Lager:  If you're actually invested in the outcome and are a true fan of the craft that goes into the game of hockey, this less-potent offering is for you. It will satisfy all of your flavor centers and keep you clear-minded enough to enjoy the entire game, including overtime. Offered up in cans, this beer has a pleasant, albeit slightly bitter taste experience that carries throughout. You won't be able to put them down like one of the traditional adjunct pretend-lagers mass-produced in cesspools of crap, but the can will give you some cover against any of your non-beer-snob friends who like to call you a sissy for drinking fancy beer. Make sure to bounce an empty off their foreheads after they're team loses.

2. Left Hand Brewing Wake Up Dead Stout:  This is the beer to crack open when there are less than thirty seconds left and your team is down by two. Or when there are two periods left and your team is down by five. Basically what I'm saying is, this beer will do an excellent job of distracting you from how awful your team is playing with it's alcohol content, and will taste wonderful while doing so. Robust, full of flavor and character, just like your favorite NHL tough guy.

1. Molson Canadian:  As far as beers go, it's nothing special. And it doesn't have the awesome twin labels anymore. In fact, they haven't for a few years now. But it's Canadian, it's drinkable, and it's usually not too expensive. All of which make it a great companion if you have to supply your beer-swilling, drunkard friends who have gathered at your house to cheer on the team you're rooting against. Assholes.

Always remember, if you drive when you're drunk, you're a dick and no one likes you. So don't do it, especially after drinking these beers and watching hockey.

Thursday, April 19, 2012

A Day Early

It would appear the sadness fairies have arrived ahead of schedule. (Not all fairies bring sunshine and money in exchange for things that fall out of your mouth as you get older). For those who may not know, tomorrow is my Dad's 61st birthday. We'll be celebrating by crying next to his tomb in a mausoleum outside of Pittsburgh, PA.

This week has been a challenge, to say the least.

Perhaps what I've been struggling with most is extrapolating, and trying to accept, that every new great thing that happens in my life won't be witnessed by my Dad. I won't get to share the view, the joy, the happiness, the satisfaction, of anything ever, with him again.

Where it really seems to be sticking is with my recent, albeit moderate, success. I have a full-time job that pays me fairly. I have benefits. I have a girlfriend. I have a really nice apartment. I live in a beautiful part of the country. The shores of Lake Champlain are a mere quarter-mile from where I live. I can look out from that shore and see the Adirondacks. I put in a lot of time and work to get to this point. Through all of the ups and downs, successes and failures, my Dad supported me. He made sacrifices in time, money, and most likely his own success, to do everything he could to get me to this point. And I can't share any of it with him. I have no way to prove to him that it wasn't a waste. This will stick with me for a long time, probably the rest of my life.

Friday, April 13, 2012

The List of Beers The Beer Challenge Facebook App Should Have

in it's "General" list. We won't even go into what categories they should break them up into. (Craft, Micro, Mass-produced, by Country of Origin, by Season, by Style, by Coast, by Brewery instead of by beer name)

Limiting myself to 100 (not easy, trying to avoid seasonals, trying to stick to flagship beers):

1. Yuengling Lager
2. Samuel Adams Boston Lager
3. Blue Moon
4. Left Hand Milk Stout
5. Sierra Nevada Pale Ale
6. Harpoon IPA
7. Blue Point Toasted Lager
8. Newcastle Brown Ale
9. Guinness
10. Shipyard Pumpkinhead Ale
11. Long Trail Pale Ale
12. Magic Hat #9
13. Stone Smoked Porter
14. Rogue Dead Guy Ale
15. New Belgium Fat Tire
16. New Glarus Spotted Cow
17. Hooegarden
18. Sixpoint Sweet Action
19. Brooklyn Brewery Chocolate Stout
20. Oskar Blues Dale's Pale Ale
21. Speakeasy Payback Porter
22. Lake Placid Ubu Ale
23. Smuttynose Old Brown Dog
24. Red Hook ESB
25. Abita Turbo Dog (or Amber)
26. Widmer Brothers Hefeweizen
27. Anchor Steam Ale
28. Pretty Things Jack D'or
29. Goose Island IPA (or Honker Ale)
30. Coney Island Lager
31. Lakefront Eastside Dark
32. Saranac Black Forest
33. Yuengling Black & Tan
34. (JW) Dundee Honey Brown
35. Southern Tier Pumking
36. Dogfish Head Indian Brown Ale
37. Dogfish Head 60 Minute IPA
38. Otter Creek Alpine Black IPA
39. Victory Golden Monkey
40. Breckenridge Vanilla Porter
41. Ommegang Rare Vos
42. Wolaver's IPA
43. Peak Organic Espresso Amber Ale
44. Speakeasy Payback Porter
45. Samuel Smith's Oatmeal Stout
46. Brooklyn Brewery Local #1
47. Lancaster Amish Four Grain Pale Ale
48. Cisco Whale's Tail Pale Ale
49. Ayinger Oktoberfest-Marzen
50. Hill Farmstead Edward (or anything, really)
51. Captain Lawrence Liquid Gold
52. Troegs Java Head Oatmeal Stout
53. Tommyknocker Butt Head bock
54. Flying Dog Gonzo Imperial Porter
55. Cigar City Maduro Oatmeal Brown
56. Sprecher Black Bavarian Lager
57. Evil Twin (anything)
58. Great Divide Smoked Baltic Porter
59. Smuttynose Robust Porter
60. Founders Porter
61. Belhaven Scottish Ale
62. Southern Tier IPA
63. Lindemans (anything)
64. Brooklyn Brewery Brooklyn Lager
65. Samuel Adams Light (best "light" beer I've ever had)
66. Old Speckled Hen
67. Boddington's
68. Atwater Block Java Porter
69. Riverhorse Tripel
70. Fort Collins Retro Red
71. Ballast Point Sculpin IPA
72. 21st Amendment Monk's Blood
73. Ithaca Apricot Wheat
74. Keegan Ale's Mother's Milk Stout
75. Fuller's London Porter (or any other Fuller's, really)
76. Geary's Pale Ale
77. North Coast Old Rasputin Imperial Russian Stout
78. Bass Pale Ale
79. Founders Red Rye Pale Ale
80. Stone Ruination IPA
81. Goose Island Matilda (or Sophie or Fleur)
82. Ommegang Hennepin
83. Rogue Double Chocolate Stout
84. Southerntier Choklat
85. Dogfish Head Miles Davis' Bitches Brew
86. Hobgoblin
87. Founders Centennial IPA
88. Chimay (anything)
89. Boulder Beer Killer Penguin
90. Troegs Dreamweaver
91. Victory Yakima Glory
92. Maine Beer Company Mean Old Tom
93. Clown Shoes Hoppy Feet
94. Dieu du Ciel! Rigor Mortis (or, my favorite Rosee d'hibiscus)
95. Abita Purple Haze
96. Young's Double Chocolate Stout
97. Moylan's Stout
98. Allagash Black
99. Mikeller Mt. Hood IPA (or really anything by Mikeller)
100. Greg's Poop Brown Ale

The amazing thing is, everyone can come up with their own list these days. I left off some of my personal favorites because they local to NYC, update NY, NH, the west coast, the midwest, or Vermont. I will take any and all suggestions.

How many of these have you had?

Thursday, April 5, 2012

Same Letter, Different Senator

I will be responding to her as well. Senator Shaheen rocks my socks. And she still sends my brother a Christmas card from when he volunteered for her campaign for Governor of NH.

Dear Greg,

Thank you for contacting my office with your concerns about the Environmental Protection Agency's (EPA) authority to regulate harmful pollutants. I appreciate hearing from you about this important issue.

The Clean Air Act has been one of the greatest public health successes we have ever had in this country. In 1970, Republicans and Democrats came together to pass this landmark legislation to address air pollution that was leading to countless deaths and lifetimes spent battling chronic illness such as asthma and emphysema.

Since we passed the Clean Air Act of 1970, we have dramatically reduced emissions of dozens of pollutants. We have improved air quality and the public health. The EPA estimates that in 2010 alone the Clean Air Act prevented 1.7 million asthma attacks, 130,000 heart attacks, and 86,000 emergency room visits. This is particularly important to New England since we suffer the effects of pollution from coal-fired power plants in the Midwest. In fact, New Hampshire has one of the highest rates of childhood asthma in the country.

Under the Clean Air Act, we have been able to grow our economy. Our gross domestic product has more than tripled since 1970, and the average household income has grown more than 45%. We know that we can protect public health, save our environment, and grow our economy. We saw this happen in New Hampshire when in 2001 we passed the first legislation in the country to deal with four major pollutants. We can protect public health without unfairly burdening small businesses.

In the Senate, I oppose efforts to undercut the EPA's ability to regulate carbon pollution under the Clean Air Act. In addition to hurting public health, hindering EPA's ability to do its work would undermine the transition to a clean energy economy that American industry needs to remain competitive.

I will continue to work with my colleagues in a bipartisan manner to develop an energy policy that drives innovation in American-made energy technologies and energy efficiency. While I believe Congress is best suited to draft cost-effective, flexible clean energy policies, I also believe that the EPA must work to create certainty for businesses and protect families from harmful pollution.

Thank you again for sharing your thoughts with me and please do not hesitate to contact my office with any future concerns.


Sincerely,

Jeanne Shaheen
United States Senator

We Need to Convince Them...

it's a good idea; it's good for them; it's the right thing to do; it's in their best interest; it will benefit them; it's a healthy option; it's a great substitute; it's a quality "something."

Here's a radical notion: Rather than having to convince someone that something is a good thing for them when it is not, why not just do something that is good for them?

So much time has been spent convincing people that things that in reality are bad will be good for them. We see it in business. We see it in politics. We see in our every day lives when we try to buy something expensive or healthy. And so often, we're duped.

Imagine if we actually just did what was good for everybody. Or most people. Or, at the very least, the people it will affect the most. The world would look a lot different. Perhaps, instead of arguments over paying your fair share of taxes, we'd be concerned about paying the right amount to do the most good for the nation as a whole. Or, gasp, the world. A radical departure, because it would require a significant number of people to focus on issues outside of their own realities.

I am oversimplifying. But in that regard, it's not a complicated issue. It has nothing to do with politics or religion, or even ideologies. It has to do with human decency. Which, with increasing frequency, we are proving we have little of. If that first thought is, "How will this benefit the most people?" instead of "What will this do for me?" we might be able to move forward a little faster and solve problems a little sooner.

But that would be a monumental shift. A man can hope, though.