Barry.

This is a picture of me and my most favorite rat in the whole wide world, Barry. Barry is actually a Professor of All-Things Rat, which is an impressive title for a rat of only a couple years of age. He likes to smell things and wander around looking for food. Sometimes, he likes to escape from his cage, hoard some Triscuits and steal receipt paper to play with later. Once, he pooped on me. After that we didn't talk for a week, but I forgave him because he's a rat, and my friend. Friends fight sometimes, like when they poop on each other or one of them bites the other while he's trying to feed him, but they get over it and move on. That's what makes them such good friends, like me and Barry.

I like to hold Barry and scratch behind his ears. He seems to like it, too, but sometimes he gets fidgety and wants to crawl around and explore. I usually let him, but I'm kind of allergic to him, so sometimes I break out in hives. Barry is adorable and sometimes he sneezes, which is bad for him but really cute to me. If Barry and I could live together forever, that would be awesome.

Very Funny. And True.

This sums up just about every magazine for women ever published.

Balding: The Upsides

1. I use WAY less shampoo then you.

2. Conditioner isn't even on my radar.

3. I never have bed head.

4. Except for maybe wrinkled clothes or smell, no one can tell I haven't showered.

5. I never pay for haircuts.

6. The hair I do have is oh so soft.

7. My haircuts take 15, 20 minutes tops.

8. Regardless of decade, I'm pretty much always in style.

9. I never have to ask, "Does my hair look okay?"