A blog about beer and/or advertising.

Let's call it "beervertising" for short.

That's not really all that short, but it's better than beer and/or advertising.

Friday, March 25, 2011

Anti-Smoking Campaigns*

I don't smoke. In my entire lifetime, I've only ever smoked anything once: It was flavored tobacco in a hookah lamp during 2006. In my opinion, smoking is a gross, disgusting habit that I will never be able to understand. For a while, I was extremely bitter toward smokers because they were ruining a perfectly good set of lungs while I had to constantly deal with asthma (and my asthma isn't even that bad). I later realized that I didn't have much ground to maintain that bitterness because I ruin a perfectly good liver every time I drink beer. And I'm not about to give that up.

The point is, I very much would like to see the number of smokers in the world decrease, especially when it comes to the people I care about. I don't like smoking. And yet, with every new anti-smoking campaign that comes out, especially the ones put out by the State of New York, I find myself more and more alienated and irritated. To the point that looking at the ads makes me want to buy a pack of cigarettes, light one, and then put it out in someone's eye. Or at least use it to burn holes in the terrible ads. I really began to consider why someone such as myself, who used to be so adamantly anti-smoking, could become so anti- anti-smoking campaigns. My reasoning is as follows:

1) Personal change:

While I am rather annoyed when people smoke around me because they are damaging my health as well as theirs, there isn't much I can do about it outside of taking the cigarette out of their mouth or hand and putting it out. I did that once to a friend. I thought she was going to kill me. (She probably should've. Them shits is expensive.) Also, ultimately, deciding to smoke is a personal choice. We all have to die from something, and we're all well aware of the health risks. If you really want to smoke knowing what it does to your insides, you're going to do it and there won't be much that will change that. I've accepted it.

2) Related to the above, everyone is well aware that smoking does horrible things to your body and your health. Everyone is well aware of how much your life expectancy can become much shorter if you smoke. Everyone is well aware of how much it makes you smell, how it yellows your teeth and nails and how many people are turned off by it. Knowing all of that, if people still decide to smoke, they're going to smoke. And no amount of advertising is going to deter them. The strategies are out-dated. People know they should quit. Many people try and fail every year. Other succeed. What we should be doing with anti-smoking campaigns rather than guilting people into quitting or grossing them out with pictures of diseased lungs, is offering them support. Let them know they're doing a great job. Nicorette had a great campaign with different characters attached to a "Suck-o-meter" that registered how much it sucked to quit smoking. Then, they popped a piece of Nicorette and the Suck-o-meter went down because quitting sucked less. That's the tone anti-smoking campaigns should have. I don't even smoke and I'm sick of the condescending tone and disease-infested organs plastered everywhere. And I'm sick of the guilt- and shame-inducing headlines I see on TV and in the subway. It's enough. It's not working.** Get it out of everyone's face.

*Full disclosure: I own stock in a holding company whose main business is cigarette production, distribution and sales
**In fact, studies have shown that anti-smoking ads INCREASE usage among current smokers.

Wednesday, March 23, 2011

AB-InBev International Brands List

Stella Artois

Becks

Budweiser

Leffe

Hoegaarden

Alexander Keith

Antarctica

Aqua Fratelli Vita

BagBier

Baisha

Bass

BelleVue

Boddington's

Bohemia

Boomerang

Bud Light

Caracu

Chernigivske

Diebels

Diekirch

Dimix

Dommelsch

Double Beer

Franziskaner

Gilde Ratskeller

Guarana Antarctica

Guarana Brahma

Hakke-Beck

Harbin

Hasseroder

Hertog Jan

Hougardse Das

Jinling

Jinlongquan

Julius

Jupiler

KK

Klinskoye

Kokanee

La Becasse

Labatt Blue Family

Lakeport Pilsner

Liber

Lowenbrau

Marathon

Michelob

Mousel

Oranjeboom

Pacena

Permskoye Gubernskoye

Piedboeuf

Quilmes Cristal

Red Shiliang

Rifey

Rogan

Safir

Santai

Sedrin

Sibirskaya Korona

Skol

Spaten

St. Pauli Girl

Sukita

Tolstiak

Vieux Temps

Yali

Yantar

Zhujiang

Evil Overlord of the Beer World*

Last week I was granted the opportunity by my boss to watch the documentary Beer Wars while at work (one of the perks of having a beer client). The craft beer revolution in America is a wonderful thing, and, in my opinion, a reflection of a much larger cultural movement (perhaps a backlash even) in response to globalization. Not that globalization is necessarily a bad thing, but more and more, as we are all becoming more connected digitally and in-person contact is becoming unnecessary, people seem to be reaching out locally in other areas to find not just quality, responsible and sustainable products, but a human connection we are lacking in other aspects of our lives.

I would much rather sit down in a less-crowded bar with a knowledgeable and friendly bartender who can tell me about all of the beers on tap than have my ear drums blasted by mega speakers in a crowded bar where the bartender is completely clueless about the products he or she is dispensing. I would much rather purchase food products from a local farmer or producer whose ingredients are natural, or even organic, and whose environmental impact is negligible, or at least reasonable, especially if that person is in some way reachable. (One of the most amazing moments in Beer Wars is when the creator and owner of Dogfishhead answers the phone in his office and speaks with a random person who enjoys their beer and is calling to tell them so. Dogfishhead puts an 800 number on all of their products so customers can call them. Even if the major players did something like that, do you think the president of the company would be the one picking up the phone?) This trend is evident in music as well. The same big-name players still dominate the market, but in a diminished capacity, especially as local and online retailers have sprung up selling quality music on a smaller scale. (I just bought a friend of mine's album off Insound.com. Apparently the band is selling through their stock fairly quickly and the album doesn't come out until May). This, to me, is a trend. And it is not one that will go away. And as much as some of the larger companies want to downplay it as a fad, I know they are scared. And there is evidence of this in Beer Wars.

Anheuser-Busch-InBev (AB), is paranoid. Extremely paranoid. In the world of brewing, they are the stereotypical, evil, faceless corporation doing whatever it can to maximize profits at the expense of everyone else. Even as the craft beer movement in America has gathered steam and really exploded, it still only accounts for around 5% of sales in America.** AB nabs 49%, which means that 1 out of every 2 beers in America is brewed or distributed by AB. Still, they are exploiting every opportunity to stab the craft brewers in the eye to steal their lunch money. And it is shameful.

In my brief history on this planet, it has always seemed that the giant corporations do this because they got caught with their pants down by innovation. Be it technology, ingenuity, or just an unseen, untapped market. It happened to the music industry with Napster. It is happening the beer giants with craft brewing. Complacency set in for AB and MillerCoors in that people in America just drank whatever they were told to drink for 50 years. No one really questioned whether beer could taste any different. Then, some people did. And they started home-brewing. They shared the fruits of their labor, and almost 30 years later, you have a craft beer market that eats up 5% of beer sales in America. But no one individual brewer has more than a 1% share of the beer market. And this is where AB's paranoia seems a bit ridiculous.

Toward the end of Beer Wars, the owner and creator of Dogfishhead shows the narrator and camera crew legal documents. He is being sued by AB, who claim that "Chicory" (Chicory Stout) and "Punk'n" (fall seasonal) are too generic to be used as names for the beer. (The owner then quips that it makes you wonder how "Natural Light," an AB brand, is not too generic). It is a blatantly frivolous lawsuit that AB knows it can't win. But, because of the overwhelming number of civil lawsuits in this country and a justice system not large enough to handle all of them in a timely manner, the AB lawsuit will be tied up in courts for years. Over that time period, Dogfishhead will have to shell out hundreds of thousands of dollars in legal fees. AB will have to as well, but AB's cash reserves are much greater than Dogfishhead's. Thus, Dogfishhead will either run out of cash and file for bankruptcy fighting the case, or settle with AB, pay them and change the name of their beers.

This is a tactic often used by major corporations when, rather than taking a look in the mirror and figuring out how to innovate and change, they attack any threat they can to circle the wagons and protect their revenues. Except that Dogfishhead isn't really a threat. They account for 0.0002% of beer sales in America. It is a dirty legal tactic that exploits a legitimate law. And, unfortunately, there is no easy solution. The law has legal merit, but it is being used in a way that has no merit with the full knowledge of AB that by the time a judge determines it has no merit, Dogfishhead will be wiped out.

Having now learned of the "dirty tricks," corporate malfeasance and immoral behavior of AB, I have decided to not only boycott any AB-InBev brands, but also any brands that AB-InBev has license to brew or distribute in America. In a subsequent post, I will put up a list of all of their brands. It will not be easy. They hold the licenses for some great beers.

I may only be one man, but if this catches on even minimally, things might change and AB might rethink their strategy. We, as consumers, hold the power because we are the ones with the money. Ultimately, it is up to us to decide what brewers to reward with our hard-earned dollars. I am asking you as a responsible citizen to not reward AB-InBev for their malicious tactics. And their shoddy products.

*I worked on a project for Bud Light in 2009.
**I am citing the film Beer Wars for all statistical information in this post

Thursday, March 10, 2011

Giant Windows

Across the street from my office, there's a building with almost floor-to-ceiling windows. Every day, a whole slew of men are doing renovations, sprucing up all the different rooms, painting, re-flooring, plastering, putting in new doors, etc. When I get stuck with whatever I'm working on, sometimes I'll look out the window and watch them work, trying to figure out if they're building new apartments or offices. (Found out last week they're building rooms in a homeless shelter). Regardless, my mind always takes me back to the same train of thought: I wonder what its like to start every day of work at one point and finish at another point that is physically and tangibly different than when you began. Or put another way, when these guys leave work at the end of the day, they can see every single thing they accomplished that day in front of them. The changes they made are physical, immediate and obvious. They put in a new door. They painted a room. They sealed the floors. Every day they know exactly what it is they accomplished. I often find myself wishing that I could have that kind of satisfaction at the end of the day.

The things I create at work are almost entirely intangible. I put words on a piece of paper based on thoughts and ideas that float around in my head. When I leave at the end of the day, the office still looks the same (maybe a little more or less disorganized). Nothing has been physically created or destroyed and I often wonder if I've actually accomplished anything, or if I've just pushed the boulder a little further down the path of futility. Of course, I suppose once the work is approved and printed or produced, there will be some tangible result, but the only actual creation I had was the idea that's been executed in printed form. It's an interpretation of the idea, not necessarily the idea itself. Even though I can hold it in my hand, I often feel like there really hasn't been any significant feat that's been achieved.

While discussing this with a friend, she noted that the construction guys probably look across the street and become jealous of me, that I sit at a computer all day and don't have to do any major physical labor. I'm skeptical, because I've always felt a very visceral sense of satisfaction from manual labor, but she did have a point. I am certainly appreciative that I have this job. There are times, though, that I wish I was better with my hands so I could create with them as well as my mind.

I can be such a whiner.

Monday, March 7, 2011

It's Not Beer Advertising...

...but it is advertising. For Jim Beam (not a particular favorite of mine). However, this spot is beautiful in just about every aspect. I was so distracted by the visuals and auditory cues that it took me having to close my eyes to just listen to realize how well-crafted the copywriting is. I want so badly to do work like this.

Roscoe's Hop House Craft Ales - Pale Ale

This is about as straightforward as an American Pale Ale can get.

Light brown color with a mellow, citrus hop aroma. At first sniff, this beer seems like it might be a bit intimidating in terms of hop bitterness, but this doggie's bark is bigger than its bite (Yeah, overused cliche!). The hops are certainly prevalent in the taste and body, but this beer is balanced fairly well with some sweetness from the malts. No other fancy additives or quirky mix-ins. The finish is fairly pleasant, but it does sit a little heavy in the stomach, which will certainly give you a bit of pause before you think to take that second swig. Overall, I'd recommend picking up a 6-er, especially since its a paltry $5.99 at my local Whole Foods on the way home from work. But it's not necessarily a beer I'd go running out to tell everyone to try.

Style: American Pale Ale
Brewer: Genessee Brewing Company
Origin: Rochester, NY, USA
ABV: 5.3%